Step 1: Focus on the Other Person
Conflict can occur when:
- Tension is running high
- When someone else is not feeling heard
- When you are not feeling heard
When you sense tension or conflict and want to resolve it, do the following:
1. Focus totally on the other person's thoughts and feelings.
2. Try to sense his/her feelings, and/or the picture that the other person is seeing in his/her head.
3. Think of a few words or a phrase that summarize (get the essence) of what the other person is thinking/feeling.
This first step requires patience! (and may seem counter-intuitive)
- We often want to direct someone to listen or do something.
- It's counter-intuitive to LISTEN to someone else when YOU feel misunderstood.
Just set your own perspective aside for a bit. Don't worry --- you will get a chance to bring it up, it's just that now is not the time. See next step
Step 2 | Step 3 | Step 4 | Step 5
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